Resources

Books, articles, and channels I actually recommend

Your journey doesn't have to start in my office. These are resources I return to again and again in my own reading and watching, and share with clients and colleagues. They are not a substitute for therapy — but they are a great start.

Books

Books I recommend

Hold Me Tight

Dr. Sue Johnson

The book on emotionally focused couples therapy — the seven conversations that rebuild connection.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

John Gottman & Nan Silver

Decades of couple research turned into practical, usable tools for friendship and conflict.

Attached

Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

A clear introduction to attachment styles and how they shape adult relationships.

Mating in Captivity

Esther Perel

On the tension between security and desire — why intimacy and eroticism need different things.

Intimacy & Desire

Dr. David Schnarch

Differentiation, desire, and the crucible approach — challenging but transformative.

The Happiness Trap

Dr. Russ Harris

The most accessible introduction to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life

Dr. Steven C. Hayes

A workbook-style tour of ACT from its founder, for working with difficult thoughts and feelings.

The Body Keeps the Score

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

How trauma lives in the body and mind, and the many paths toward healing.

The Dance of Anger

Dr. Harriet Lerner

A classic on changing the patterns — especially in family relationships — with clarity and warmth.

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Pete Walker

A compassionate, practical guide for those healing from childhood trauma.

From my journal

Articles from my journal

ACT: Psychological FlexibilityThe Beauty of Letting Go of OutcomesThe Art of Reading a RoomStanding Steady at the Door of Fear

Articles elsewhere on the web

The Gottman Relationship BlogResearch-backed articles on conflict, connection, and friendship in couples — start with the "Four Horsemen" posts.Read the article The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to ScienceWhy stable couples keep a five-to-one balance of positive to negative interactions.Read the article Esther Perel's BlogEssays on desire, infidelity, work, and the paradoxes of modern relationships.Read the article

YouTube

YouTube channels I follow

Therapy in a NutshellEmma McAdam (LMFT) explains practical skills for anxiety, depression, and emotional regulation in short videos.Visit channel The Gottman InstituteShort clips on bids for connection, conflict repair, and what healthy couples actually do.Visit channel The School of LifeAnimated essays on emotional intelligence, relationships, and self-understanding.Visit channel Brené BrownTalks on vulnerability, shame, and courage — the research behind daring greatly.Visit channel Psych2GoBite-sized animated videos on psychology and mental health awareness.Visit channel Kati MortonA therapist breaking down mental health concepts, therapy types, and coping skills.Visit channel

Note: these resources complement therapy, they don't replace it. There are no affiliate or purchase links in this list.

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